STAGES of LIFE

I have always known, but at times forgot, the beauty you can see when you are cognizant of Him, who created it all.

Went to mass this morning and it felt different.  I felt very comfortable and at home.  I haven't felt that way there in awhile.  As I take baby steps in my journey, I believe my spirit is truly being nurtured and loved by God.  In a weird way, I think others around me can sense it.  They may not know what is different about me but they seem to notice something.  Today, a woman at church, that has been a lifelong friend of our family came up to me and gave me a big hug.  With tears in her eyes, she said that I had really touched her heart today and she hoped I was ok. Hmmm...encouragement that I am taking steps in the right direction.  A blessing!

So, after church decided to put water on the yard, sit in the shade and just enjoy being for a bit.  Then I noticed that a couple of butterflies were playing in the water, which brought a smile to my face.  You see, I kind of have a history of the butterfly theme in my life.

Butterflies are very interesting insects that are beautiful colors and fun to watch.  I remember chasing many of them with a net as a kid.  I would capture the beauty and observe it in a jar before releasing it back to it's natural habitat.  They were quite a challenge to catch!

At the age of nine or so I joined 4-H.  I particpated in method demonstrations that year with a fellow 4-Her.  Method demonstrations are a public speaking project (which quite frankly horrified me, initially) and can be on any topic within certain areas.  Anyway, ours was about butterflies.  We dressed as butterflies and actually made our entrance emerging from a cocoon, which was actually pretty cool. 

What I learned in that process is that butterflies have 4 stages of life.  They begin as an egg.  When it hatches, a tiny larva (stage 2), called a caterpillar emerges and begins to feed.  The 3rd stage is called pupa.  Once full grown, the caterpillar molts into a chrysalis.  This stage has often been referred to as the "resting stage".  It is actually a time of intense developmental activity.  Then stage 4.  While a chrysalis, the caterpillar is converted to a butterfly.

My grandmother, loved butterflies.  We affectionately called her Bow-Bow.  She wore big butterfly pins on her scarf or blouse, often times.  She was very artistic and often drew pictures of them. She loved when we would catch them and bring them to show her.

When Matthew was born, his adoptive mother made me a stained glass butterfly.  She gave it to me as a gift with a letter saying that I was so strong, brave and beautiful.  The butterfly was a symbol of life.  Life that I had given Matthew and the potential of life I had to live. 

My grandmother died in March 2004.  The family was gathered at the family farm and it was warm outside.  A butterfly kept coming around different people at different times.  I joked that it was Bow-Bow spreading her love around us.

 Shortly after that, a butterfly flew into my parents house (which used to be my grandparents).  It rested on a flower arrangement my mother had on the table.  It stayed there for over 3 weeks.  I think in a way, it brought my mother comfort.  It made her think of her mom and she felt oddly close to her. 

Later that year, my granddad, PaPa was living with us and next door my aunt had moved in with my parents.  They both required some medical care and we brought them home to live out their last months.  When things looked very grave for them, I went to the cemetary and sat next to Bow-Bow's grave to pray.  It was a very warm October day.  I bowed my head and prayed that she would make a place ready for Mary Lou and Pa-Pa as I felt the time was near.  It's weird how sometimes our prayers change for people.  Sometimes rather than praying for physical healing our prayer becomes for spiritual healing and that the last stage of their lives is peaceful and painfree.  I felt a strong presence of Bow-Bow as I prayed.  It seemed she was telling me it was going to be ok and their place was secured in Heaven.  Then, a big beautiful orange butterfly landed on my shoulder. I knew whatever God's plan was, it was going to be ok.

Most things in life, I think, have stages.  Everything is a process.  As people, we have stages of life as well.  They are somewhat different than butterflies, obviously, as our bodies are more complex.  However, I believe our spirit may go through stages very similar to that of a butterfly.  I wonder what stage I am in at this point in my life?  Fortunately, unlike a butterfly, our spirits' stages can waver back and forth, always with a possibility of emerging into beautiful butterflies that can take flight. That is what God wants for us.

Lord, thank you for the beauty in nature that you have given us.  It is awesome that not only can we be amazed, we can also learn lessons from them.  Only Your design could be so perfect.  Thank you for the gift of being able to see it and be amazed by it.  Help me to see your goodness in others, even when it is difficult to do so.  Please help guide me through the stages here on this earth....until I become a beautiful "butterfly" with you in Heaven.