So. I haven't written in a while. I started blogging the summer of 2012. It was just after what turned out to be an incredible life changing event. I was searching for something. I started a journey. I thought blogging would be a great outlet for what I was experiencing. I have been sporadic in writing, but constant in learning.
That was three years ago. Either I'm a slow learner or I've had an awful lot to learn! Ha! The Spring of 2012 I had been called to be a team member on an ACTS Retreat. I truly believed that I could not be of any benefit there but also thought, hey, there must be SOME reason they are calling me. Maybe I'll ask some questions and sign up, might be good. I was not really active in the church at that time and was required to have my parish priest sign the form allowing me to participate. Father Scott looked into my crying eyes and very kindly said, "I have faith in you. Little did I know what was in store for me!
God slapped me upside the head with GRACE, FORGIVENESS, HUMILITY, KINDNESS, and LOVE. A group of beautiful women was dropped in my lap and they reminded me what it is like to be a child of God. They loved me right where I was. It was incredible. I began searching for something. Unsure of what I was searching for, I knew after that experience, I would never be the same again.
The following is a list of things I learned on this journey.
A stranger can change your life.
I am a child of God. As crazy as I may be sometimes, I am a child of God. I was beautifully and wonderfully made. So are you.
I am visible. For a very long time, I believed I was invisible to other people. They must not be able to see me and they certainly can't hear me. Yes. I believed this to be true. I believed I was truly insignificant and the world would not miss me if I disappeared, maybe it(my family) would be better off without me. Turns out, I'm visible. And I have purpose. So do you.
Everyone has a story. Life is a series of events and changes. The only constant thing in life is change. It's inevitable, you might as well embrace it.
Forgive yourself. How can you expect anyone else to forgive you when you can't even forgive yourself? Jesus died on the cross for your sins. They don't matter anymore. Learn from them and move on trying to do better.
Be still. Be quiet. You'll be surprised what you can hear.
Anger is ugly. I was full of anger. I didn't even know I could be angry. I was incredibly angry for a long time. Angry at myself for so many things. A lifetime of things. Angry about disease and how it takes people I love. Angry at Bruce for dying. Angry at Matthew for bailing on life after all the struggles. Angry at God for taking two of the most important men in my life ever. Anger may be a stage of grief, but I'm sure glad it didn't last the rest of my life. Having said that, I sometimes have to remind myself, to let the anger go.
I've relearned to love others. I make a point to pay attention to others and love them, wherever they are. Maybe my kindness will matter to someone. People should know they matter.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
I have many gifts.
Follow your dreams but be diligent in your work.
Pray often and in all circumstances.
Surround yourself with positive people and things. You do not have to tolerate negativity. Pay attention to yourself and don't be the negativity either. Toxic behavior does not have to be tolerated.
Words are incredibly powerful. They cannot be taken back once said. Use them to build people up not tear people down.
Use your words to communicate. Don't expect people to know what you are thinking. Speak up.
If you think kinds things, share them. The other person will appreciate it and so will you.
To help yourself, help someone else.
Smile and laugh often.
Fear can be paralyzing. Don't allow your life or thoughts to be consumed with fear. It accomplishes nothing.
Everyone dies. Make the best of the time you have. There are no do overs. Live by God's commandments, especially loving one another. Make a difference while you are here.
Our purpose in life, is to help one another get to Heaven.
I'm a sinner and I fail daily.
I'm forgiven and as long as I'm breathing, I have another chance to do better.
I am a work in progress.
God provides.
You can wear people out. When someone goes out on a limb for you, don't wear them out in return. Be a blessing back.
Don't judge anyone. You have no idea what is going on in their world.
Take care of yourself. No one else will do it for you.
You are stronger than you know.
Life is not a competition. Don't compare yourself to others. You are different people in different situations with different gifts. Be yourself.
Don't focus on what you don't have. Focus on what you have. Take care of what you have and use it to the best of your abilities.
Keep an open mind.
Enjoy nature. You can learn a lot by watching nature.
Keep a sense of humor and laugh a lot.
Embrace changes in seasons. Life is a natural cycle.
Three years have passed since God dropped an unexpected group of beautiful people in my life. I am so grateful that I can continue this journey today. I will continue to be aware of myself and my actions and strive to be a better human daily. These are just some of the highlighted lessons along this incredible journey. May I be wiser with each passing day.
Father God, thank you for this incredible gift of life that you have given me. I am sorry that I do not always use my gifts for your glory. I fail you daily. However, you continue to love me and forgive me. May I use the things I am learning in this journey in a positive way. I ask you to guide me where you want me. Help me to love others, especially those who need it most. May I show compassion to others, who feel invisible, lonely, afraid and unloved. Thank you for sending angels my way, to get me on track to live a life You designed me to live. May I be open to your direction. Thank you for Your love and graces. Amen
