Friendship
Friendship has become a very important part of my life. I mean friendship is always something special but it is not something I have often sought out. I have always been quite a shy person, way introverted. Mostly an observer of people rather than a participant in friendships. A loner or sorts, the odd one. Seems people always leave. They leave for various reasons. They move away geographically, they die or they simply don't want to be in my life anymore. I know that is shocking to believe, but yes, it's true - some people simply don't appreciate me.
Once they are gone, the relationship simply is over or is unrecognizable as it's previous form. It's painful to lose people you love. Is it worth the pain? My answer today is yes. I am grateful that I have a handful of people that I truly consider my friends. They are mostly strong faithful women whom I learn from daily and love as my sisters. I can hardly wait to see what God has planned for some newly developed as well as old rekindled friendships.
Everyone needs friends in their life. Genuine relationships that make us better simply by knowing one another. That cannot be replaced by anything. Embrace your friendships.
Family
I am grateful for family. My daughter has often asked, "Mom, why can't we just be like a normal family? Why can't we (fill in the blank) like real families?" Well, not all families look the same. It is the two of us in our home. We have no pets and visitors are a rarity. This scene does not at all reflect the childhood family I experienced. However, I love my daughter so much and would give my life for her. We are a real and true family.
I am grateful my parents are close by. It is tough to watch them aging and ailing but I must remind myself that it is also a gift that many people do not get to experience.
I am beyond excited for my sister and brother-in-law to be expecting a baby in a few short months. I hope to be a positive and loving part of his life. Our family has experienced some difficulties within the dynamics and relationships of us all. I have poured out my soul in the past year with confessions, admissions, apologies, tears and a promise to change things to these family members. It is slow healing for them, and my desire is that they will come around. I am grateful for them all.
My Health
It is so odd now to think that there have been many times in my life that I wanted to die. I just wanted to go away. Not be a burden to anyone. Not be a convenience to anyone. Just simply not be. I felt insignificant and lonely. I felt invisible. I did not take care of myself. That was not a priority at all.
It makes my liver quiver now to think of the alcohol binging and consumption over the years. I was a smoker. I smoked cigarettes off and on for many years. My weight has significantly fluctuated over the years. I made a choice to take better care of myself. I quit smoking April 1st and alcohol consumption just isn't even really an issue. I went to therapy and started to get focused, motivated and ambitious. I am now at an all time high weight. I know that I will take steps to get healthier each and every day.
All test results this year have indicated that I am the healthiest I have been in a very long time. I am so grateful. One of my dear friends, who is 90 years old, told me that if a person is healthy they are very wealthy. For without your health, nothing else matters. I watch people struggle daily with major health issues and it is heart breaking. I will strive to bring peace and joy to those in pain, physical or spiritual. I am so grateful for my health and for every breath I take.
Forgiveness
I am grateful for forgiveness. The peace that comes from forgiving others that have wronged me is extraordinary. I have been able to forgive others by realizing that we are all simply humans. We are all the same. It does not matter what color, race, gender, religion or lack of, beliefs, education, finances, disabilities... The list goes on and on. None of those things matter. We were created in the likeness of God who loves us all the same and teaches us to love one another by his example. People make mistakes. People often cause injury to one another, many times with realizing the impact on others.
God forgives us daily for our sins. Do you know how huge that is?? We are forgiven! We get another chance to try to get it right.
It is in my failings that I learn to do better. Forgiving myself and knowing now that when I know better, I do better has released chains that had me bound in ways unimaginable.
God has brought me so far in the past couple of years and for that I am most grateful. I am excited to see where this all goes from here. I will continue to strive to be a strong, courageous and faithful servant.
These are only a tip of the iceberg of things I am truly thankful for. Thank you Lord for your many blessings bestowed upon me in my life. Thank you for showing me the light within myself to escape the darkness I stumbled in for so long. Thank you for using me in ways you see fit to live out your word. May we continue to recognize our blessings and forever sing praise and thanks for the gifts we receive.
